I think my mp3 player is alive
These 2 weeks have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me: lots of highs, lots of lows, and not enough time for things to sit still so I can take stock of everything that's happening.
Example of high: ceroc weekend / dance party at Palmerston North and probably everything associated with it: I got to put on a waistcoat and bow tie, visited the Tui Brewery as an aside, and the road trip to/from the event put me in a car with 3 beautiful girls - and no, I'm not just saying that because there's a good chance that at least one of them will stumble across this post (damn Facebook).
Example of low: having a talk with my folks about my apartment-hunting situation and then it dawning on me that I may not be being honest with myself about what it is I really need.
So the low as described above doesn't have a paragraph as large as the good thing I listed, but it really sewed some doubt into me; not just over the apartment-hunting, but over every other shitty little thing which has gotten to me since the dawn of time. Some of those things were really stupid complaints (like this damn itch behind my knee that refuses to go away) but once the doubt crept in, it opened the flood gates behind it and I took a downward spiral into emo-dom.
Throughout this whole ordeal, it feels as if my mp3 player - a Creative ZEN (I got the black 16GB model, not the pink 2GB that seems to show-up by default) - has been able to gauge my mood and put on the appropriate songs to match.
At the beginning: Michael Jackson's Leave Me Alone (yes, I, like everybody else, broke out their old MJ collection), Lifehouse's Simon, Four Letter Lie's A Place Called "Further".
Yesterday, from when I posted "Doesn't know what to do anymore." on Twitter: Lesley Roy's Thinking Out Loud, Maroon 5's Makes Me Wonder, Gary Jules's cover of Tears for Fears' Mad World.
And just this morning: Queen's Under Pressure.
You can of course argue that depending on your mood, you can attach any meaning you want to any song - I'm certainly having that little debate in my mind right now - but I was more surprised at that my mp3 player didn't need any prodding or song-selecting-button-pushing from me to find something that worked at the time. Usually the shuffle function on this thing is really annoying in that it picks the same songs in the afternoon that it played in the morning, making me question just how 'random' the shuffle really is.
You could also argue that maybe my music collection is just so full of songs that cater to a crappy mood that my mp3 player had no choice but to play seemingly appropriate music... which is a worrying symptom of a potential closet emo.
Regardless, I'm working my way through things, mainly thanks to good people who have noticed my mood, shown concern, and have pointed me in the right direction. It's also just as well that I've got a ski trip coming-up in a week: just me, some friends, the snow to break my fall, and a mountain that won't talk back.
The mp3 player will be coming along too :)
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On a side-note, I should really start listening to the lyrics of songs - only this week did I discover that Queen's Save Me is about a breakup!